melodramatic moments.

I am a victim of melodrama.

However, I would like to tastefully commit my alibi as being: the time and place of this month, which does not function with any part of my well-being. Moreover, I would like to point out that according to a famous author, "We all need a little madness".
My madness today went infinitely around a circle of frustration that has been building for a solid year now. And according to my personality test, being that I am an "I", I am unrealistic- among the many other positive and negative traits. I guess with that knowledge I can see where some of my melodramatic tendencies root.

Today was paramount to the other breakdowns: I let go. I completely let myself go. All of the pent up tension of feeling boxed-in by responsibility, released. As a result, I found myself feeling salty and puffy, spewing words I longed to communicate. They came out to no one better than my mother.

"Mom, I just don't know what I want. I don't know how I feel about anyone, or anything at this point in my life?"

Then I muttered the epiphany: "What if I just want to leave everything I know and go figure it all out".

Blank stare.
.
.
.
.

Her response wasn't in words, it was in a knowing look that I received. She responded, "I think you know".

I did know.
I knew that I needed to take a step back from it all and evaluate each emotion and harness what I couldn't control. I guess most people have a tendency to come to these places and freak out. This is just happening at a point in my life where I can ask these questions and it makes sense too.
Nikos Kazantzakis states that “A person needs a little madness, or else they never dare cut the rope and be free”

My friend's blog is titled " All good things are wild and free"

Good things are wild and free.

So I end to tonight with one of my favorite people, Joanna Newsom.

"We sailed away on a winter's day with fate as malleable as clay,
but ships are fallible I say, and nautical like all things fade-
But I do recall a little wicker beetleshell with four fine legs and sails...
Oh my love it was a funny thing to be the one's to have seen"