It is hard to accept the day when your body decides to crash. Usually this crash seems to happen when a person is in the "winter" stage of their life, as one of my friends likes to call it.
First went the teeth, then the eyes, then my overall health...
I did not imagine that I would have to get a root canal and then I would have to fit a mold for my bottom retainer-my teeth seem to be crooked.
I also did not anticipate that I would need glasses- my 20/20 vision seems to be diminishing due to reading all the time.
And to top off everything- Ross has mono, which means I have mono.
As I write these words, I feel like my grandparents. Both of them had accidents this week. My grandmother broke her nose falling down the stairs, while my grandpa fell off of the roof and broke five ribs.
Maybe it is a family thing, but lately I feel all over the place and not just my health.
To avoid being sappy, my heart feels like it is in its own winter season as well.
I am not coping well with distance; I am not coping well with what little time I have to invest in people- especially the person my heart seems to be on a fine string with. At the end of the day it is people who make me delighted. At the end of most days, it seems to be one person I flip the calendar pages to reach.
So, to this one person:
I love you. No music can bring me closer, so I will freeze you in words this time around. At least this part of my system is not failing yet. I have to learn to be patient, but I do not have to learn total separation.
Perhaps this is the beauty of systematic failures- they never leave you complete. You have to change.
“Wisdom ceases to be wisdom when it becomes too proud to weep, too grave to laugh, and too selfish to seek other than itself.”
kahlil gibran
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