We forgot the names we used to know.

I take this lyric from one of my favorite Arcade Fire songs because it puts meaning to much of what I am feeling in these moments. I am about to head off for the summer to L.A. and then back to Arkansas. I feel both excited and nervous. I feel excited because I am seeing faces that have become unfamiliar. I am also going back to a family I miss, but I am also leaving one behind. These feelings all leave me a little jaded to say the least.
I know we all have to move on and we all have to push forward, but it is hard to make a motion when there are forces pushing in every direction. I have once again come to loving home. It is just where I realize that I feel comfortable, and after being here over two months, being here becomes home in itself.
This is the part in life I do not care for. I am tired of being transported from place to place. I want to settle down somewhere. I want to be in communion with my friends, but I also want to be with family. I cannot have both though. So here are the hard, and fast conclusions: I desperately want to be cradled at home because I miss them, but I also want to be with others I love.
A friend wrote, "I hate goodbye's". I am no good at them, so I hate them too. Tonight I watched T.V. with my dad, an evening staple, and I also packed with my mom, which made her feel like a mom. I am also going on our back porch tonight and looking at the stars. These were/are my goodbye's. Tomorrow is another adventure, and maybe then I'll be more ready to leave. But as for now, I will do the same as I did on the ferry today, I will just sit and reflect on how blessed I truly am.
Here is to another summer Seattle.
And in remembrance, I leave with one of my favorite lyrics, a lyric I discovered here:
"How roads must a man walk down before you call him a man? And how many seas must a white dove sail before she sleeps in the sand, and how many times must a cannonball fly before they are forever banned? The answer my friend, is blowing in the wind".

Thank you Bob.
Seattle, I love you.
Goodnight.